Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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