Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
