so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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