The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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