I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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