Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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