I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You can't special order awesome
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
