Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
