Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Fuck appropriateness.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think I sprained my soul last night
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
