I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
