This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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