i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
