i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
