how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
