I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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