Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
FUCK WHALES
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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