Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
