pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
