i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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