So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
