sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
