Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
