no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
