Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
