I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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