Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize