gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
