She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize