Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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