But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
