I could have mohawked her pubes.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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