Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
