How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
