I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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