The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
