At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize