If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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