I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
