you guys were way drunker than both of me
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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