i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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