i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
