I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
