So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
