she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Don't make out with my wife yet
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
