We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dear god my vagina.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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