At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
