We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
