North Korea, Best Korea!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
