We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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