why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
