I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
