Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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