That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
