So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i think we sleep fucked last night...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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