He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
