Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
