Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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