Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
