Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Define "chronic" masturbator.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
