am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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