so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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