if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
