he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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