did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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