i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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